last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
