Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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