..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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