Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Semen is not good for contacts.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
