Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
