I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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