Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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