Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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