I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The ass gains better be worth it
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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