My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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