piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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