How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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