Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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