A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
