I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
