i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm both gender and math confused
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