Just fell off a train. Bad.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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