How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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