How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
