You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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