PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
