Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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