i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
