Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
