you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
