one two three fourrrrnication!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
