he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
