The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
