How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
