White coat. Heels.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize