Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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