So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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