Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
