there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
