The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
