sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Randomize
