Me. At least after what I've been through.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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