I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
