Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
