I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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