I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
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I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
