If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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