Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
