I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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