I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
