Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You are a genius and a whore.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
