literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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