How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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