I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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