Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
