we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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