i think my mom watched the whole time
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
