I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
