Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
