Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
