Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
