He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
