Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Shame is for Republicans.
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