I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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