Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
