blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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