Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I am naked and annoyed.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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