Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
